Starting Over.... Again

I cannot believe an entire month has passed since my last post.  Even worse, I have made absolutely zero progress on weight loss and health improvement.  In fact, you could argue I've even gone backwards.  I have eaten more pizza in these past four weeks than I should in a year, and pizza isn't the only take-out I've brought home this past month.  Needless to say my weight has slowly continued creeping up while whatever self-confidence I have continues to erode away.  Of course I could blather on about how these past 4 weeks have been particularly busy, which has only encouraged my bad habits, but that would just be an excuse.  Things are always going to be busy, especially as I try desperately to finish my dissertation in less than a year, and therefore it's always going to be harder to make dinner, go out for a run, etc.  Heck, you could argue that those changes are hard to make even if you have the easiest schedule in the world; addictions whether to food or drugs are in fact very difficult to break.  I just need to commit, which is easier said than done, especially when I like food and being lazy as much as I do.

I keep searching for something external to motivate me to change.  This is actually one of the prime reasons I started this blog, hoping that by making my struggle public, I would be motivated by readers to keep going.  Apparently, though making a public commitment isn't enough for me.  I suppose this isn't terribly surprising; I mean my own self-consciousness wasn't even enough to motivate me.  Recently, I looked to my doctor for inspiration.  Unfortunately, it appears my weight gain isn't of great concern to my physician since, as she said, "I'm very active."  Wait.  Did I really just say that it was unfortunate that my weight gain hasn't gotten to the point where it's "lose it or die?"  Did I just imply that it's going to take the threat of a weight-related a medical problem to get me to change?  I guess I did.  I don't want to believe it, but a bit part of me thinks it's true. 

In reality though what I really want is to never have to get the point where my doctor thinks my weight is even remotely a concern; I want my physicals to still conclude that I'm normal and healthy, not that I may be in the running for a heart attack or diabetes.  The fact that this is still apparently the case (though I still have a tough time believing this) is a good thing and I'm trying to think of it like that.  Rather than see it as a pass to continue eating bad food and drinking too much beer, I'm trying to see it as a "second chance"; the chance to make changes now while I am still healthy and not quite in the red zone.

So tomorrow starts a new schedule:  I will be getting up every day around 6:45am to working out for a minimum of 40 minutes.  This week, "workouts" will consist of walking and/or running, but the hope would be to eventually add some strength workouts once or twice a week.  I have always been strongly against waking up to workout, mostly because I value my sleep.  But lately I've been thinking about the benefits of getting the workout with over with at the start of the day.  Not only are there scientifically-examined weight loss benefits to exercising in the morning, getting up and out earlier would mean my workday gets started earlier, ensuring a productive day.  Getting to school earlier without having to workout afterwards also means I can get home earlier, which means I would be more like to make dinner, rather than order in.  I've only mentally committed to trying this routine for this week, but I have a feeling I'll try and keep it up for at least a little while.